i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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