You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
