It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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