Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
