just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
