i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize