I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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