So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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