the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
