So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
