Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
