Duck Duck Cougar?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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