I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
third nipple confirmed
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
