he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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