I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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