accomplished twins. life is a go
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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