everyone is single if you try hard enough
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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