It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
