Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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