in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
