is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
