so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
