So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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