Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
