Me. At least after what I've been through.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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