i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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