you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
