I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
