Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
