So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
