Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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