just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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