wanna go halves on a baby?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
