Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Someone came in the potted fern
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
