I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
