Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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