we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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