He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
