cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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