if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
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