I want you more than these girls want KFC
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
