it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
