I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
