I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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