butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
