do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
