just tell him i said nine months
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
