I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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