Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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