Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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