My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
In America we eat man semen.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
