Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
