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i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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