I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
