She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
