could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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