and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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