Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
