Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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