Pants 0. Shit 1.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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