see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
