I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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