I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
