I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Acid is not a monday night drug
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
